How To Reconnect With Your Inner Stylista In Your 40's & Beyond
What is it about your forties that suddenly brings on feelings of wanting to do something, change something, empower yourself, create new beginnings or you just feel an urge to further yourself and your horizons? Or was it just me?
It’s like I suddenly awoke to thinking. “You know what, it’s my time now”.
Maybe it’s the freeing of time, more self-sufficient children, clearer work and life goals or just more opportunity to reflect, reconnect or act on the things I haven’t yet done, places I haven’t visited, knowledge not yet learned, or feelings not quite faced.?
Maybe 'shit happened' and it's triggered a new path or mentality?
Whatever, it is, I’ve found it becomes increasingly more apparent to understand yourself and further develop your sense of being in your forties and beyond and I've seen it in all my clients. These are women who are seeking that reconnection in their forties and beyond.
Many of us go through life carrying with us negative beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and this includes the way we look. Much of it stems from childhood, puberty and young adult experiences and it’s only when we get braver and decide.." you know what"…"enough is enough", that we make the choice to do something about it and take positive action.
SO WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN IN MIDLIFE?
I would say that most of my clients express one of the following mindsets or a mixture of both in different measures, that facilitated their desire to action change…
A SENSE OF DISCOVERY
As we age, I believe for many of us we develop a sense of wonder, Social media, magazines, Tv, celebrities and the like become less impactful and even tiresome as we realise that we care less about what strangers say or think about us. These feelings can thrust us forward to learn new things and make positive changes in how we think, feel and look, giving us a sense of freedom to express ourselves in our clothes, homes, gardens, and passions without fear.
A TIME TO PUT THINGS RIGHT
However, I also see the sadness that still resides from all those years in which we did care and were sensitive to criticisms, weight loss marketing and social pressures to look or be a certain way. All of these cemented our fears and shaped our feelings of inadequacy and poor self-image and although some of us may have shrugged most of it off, many women in their midlife stages, have not and continue to carry those deep-rooted seeds.
When you’re sick of feeling this way and tired of struggling to embrace yourself and the way you look and dress, you want to reach out after years of non-action or trying to get there alone.
Whichever mindset you favour or whatever catalyst is your personal reason for action, I welcome you with open arms to the forties and beyond. It’s a time of self-awareness and reconnection indeed,
I’m 47 this year and I am whole heartedly enjoying and embracing as much as possible and my self-image is content, my wardrobe happy and my outfits are savvy. Took me 15 years but I did it and now I help women get there quicker.
I’m here to open the doors to how colour, clothes, style and personality can be a steppingstone to embracing your midlife and beyond. Why? Because what we wear can give us so much joy and clothes can be a great way in to understanding who we are aa well as giving us the confidence to finally be able to dress our gorgeousness with the help, fit and character of a long-lost friend. Now is the perfect time to learn and adapt to your current self, just as you are.
As a holistic image consultant and style coach, I utilise mindset and body positivity tools throughout my style journeys too because for me, it’s not just about the clothes themselves. MIND + BODY + WARDROBE= ALIGNMENT.
So, would you like to unlock the key to your inner stylista? The forgotten you unleashed and aspects of your dormant bohemian babe, indie queen, rock chick, boss mama, pop princess, sporty spice or something else that seems to be missing? Whatever you are seeking is within reach with a little style guidance and mindful TLC.
Not only do the words you speak become the house you live in but so too do the clothes you wear. They can show the world who you are and nurture your authenticity, personality, and confidence. You don’t have to shed a pound, go under the knife, or become a different person.
Now, grab some paper and something to write with and let’s start tapping into what lies beneath. Let’s reconnect with your inner stylista with a little exercise. If you like to journal, this can be done in your special book…
A FEW QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE I SHARE MY TOP 10 TIPS TO GET STARTED
• What would you like YOUR 40’s style and beyond to look like?
• Do you have blocks about what you think 40+ style should look like?
• Do you have style inspirator’s, icons or positive role models that spur you on or give you that feel good factor? Past or present.
Making a start in one of these areas can be the catalyst to the unveiling of the rest. It’s a process you see, one step at a time, one ‘aha’ moment to the next and the answers you seek are often sitting there in plain sight.
Ok, let’s move on… Did you know that your clothes and your wardrobe are full of clues, secrets and locked away inspiration?
MY 10 WAYS TO START RECONNECTING WITH YOUR INNER STYLISTA NOW.
Cast your mind back to a time when you were happy in your clothes and style. Maybe you enjoyed a certain genre, era, or aesthetic? What elements of that did you love? It’s not about dressing the same again, it’s more about taking the essence of it and reworking the elements you loved back into your modern day outfits.
Heck, fashion is always reviving the past in new ways so why can't you? Maybe you feel more bohemian now than you did in your youth? You love the embroidery, tassels and laid back prints. Maybe you crave a little glam or retro 60's fit?
Now, without going to look in your closet, think about what your style looks like now. Can you describe it in a few words? How do these words make you feel? Are there others you would like to embrace? Ask a trusted family/friends if you’re stuck. Alternatively, check out some further help with my What's Your Style Personality blog post
Now, go cast a mindful eye over your wardrobe contents and take a recce of what you see. Notice and note the colours, prints, garments, and styles. Does it shout “YOU”? Does it feel like you? Does it match your expectations and prior thoughts? Are there any elements in there that you’ve noted from the past that resonate? Maybe you were a bit of a rock chick and you have a modern biker jacket? Maybe oneis missing?
Ok, so what do you feel is missing from your style now, that is holding you back? More colour, more pattern, quirky details, maybe certain garments i.e., dresses, finding a better fit, more oomph or something else? What additions would give you more joy? Accessories are a quick and purse savvy way of doing this.
Now look at the items that aren’t working for you. Maybe give them a little sort and release or remove the mood hoovers and the non-fitters. Sometimes seeing the wood for the trees gives clarity and promotes better karma, plus you may find a long lost favourites at the back of the wardrobe.
Let’s get positive. Identify your wardrobe gems. These are items that are loved, worn and make you feel good wearing them. Why are they awesome? These are your clues to what works and what you currently love. Note any factors down that come to mind.
Look at the brands you choose. If you’ve found one that ticks your boxes and speaks to you, ask yourself why?. Check out their online look books and outfit pairings for further inspiration. One piece can spark the right direction.
Speaking of brands, seek out new inspirations from more local, inclusive, or resonating brands that offer models of all ages, sizes and looks. It’s good for our self-image to see representatives that we can relate to. Check out my blog here.
When embracing your style, learn to leave comparison at home. Style in your 40’s and beyond does not have to look a certain way nor the same way as your friend, only your way. Style is ageless and size less. What matters is that you feel happy wearing the clothes you choose. Seek the freedom to explore your own style.
Maybe even look for fellow women who have created their own looks and write about their journeys in blogs . Pinterest is a great source for this.
Use seasonal trends and what is on offer online and on the high street as a guide rather than a rule book. You do not need to be a fashionista to be stylish. Take elements of what you love and make them your own. You can check out my wearable and practical picks here.
When your style synchronizes with your soul and your personality you will know because it will FEEL RIGHT. No fidgeting, no uncertainty and no questions. This is the reconnection you ultimately seek, and it is totally attainable.
Like I tell all my clients, it’s important to see yourself as an investment in finding the truth. You are worthy of doing things for yourself, spending time and money on yourself and enjoying the ride. You’ve helped everyone else, now it’s your time to flourish.
Righto, I think I've got you thinking and I hope that you’ve gained something from this little post and feel some flinch of inspiration to seek your style freedom and give it the tender loving care you both deserve.
If you want further help, guidance and support I have lots of things to share that can get you to your sweet spot quicker, though It isn’t a race rather an organic journey that helps you find your happy confidence.
Wearing clothes should bring ease, clarity, and happiness in the long run, that way you can enjoy everything else and not miss a thing.
SHARING IS CARING
To kickstart that happier Self Image – Check out my 20 little lifts E-guide to start your journey
For purse friendly help with finding a better fit. Check out my Fitting guide with a FREE 30-minute online session. Limited time only.
To help you get more Outfit Savvy- Here’s my FREE GUIDE
If you wish to join a private Facebook community of women who feel just like you. Here’s my Facebook Group
And for all those answers you seek from starting your body positivity journey and embracing your perimenopause to wardrobe help and dressing your body and proportions, there’s my Blogs.
Just remember, that entering your 40’s and going beyond, is a great time for you and doesn’t need to be feared. Life begins at 40 so they say. You’ve less time for idiots and you are more experienced and knowledgeable in many other life arenas.
Just think about ALL the good stuff you’ve done, achieved, and overcome already. The next years will no doubt bring more opportunities and good times too.
So, make reconnecting with yourself and your wardrobe one of them.
Thanks for reading and feel free to leave your thoughts and comments.